24/07/2014

#artspaceblogparty + my art

this is a great library
I'm hanging out at artspace participating in a blog party! Woot woot! The objective of the party is to be inspired by their lovely library and I found Caught in the Act: an anthology of performance art by Canadian women.

this is empowering
I'm really drawn to strong, independent (bonus - Canadian) women and after flipping through this book, I felt connected to Margaret Dragu. She once requested her attendees bring a homemade pie, with consequences for those who don't comply. I won't pretend to really know anything about this woman or her art, I do like pie, but she's just a jumping point for me to think about my own art practice.  Seems so snobby when I put it like that, but I think photography and videography could qualify, right?

I want to make my own film but that is scary and something you have to commit to. It's also not easy putting myself out there. Even this little ole blog gets me in trouble from time to time. Blogging/writing has been a fun outlet for me to just put shit out to the universe. I just have a lot of feelings (mean girls reference) and a lot of sharing to do! It's definitely the same reason I want to make a film about birth / what happens after birth from a Canadian perspective. Recently, I did my very own video collaboration (sans Matt) with a local poet. I surprised myself with how in control of the situation I was and how comfortable directing her became once I was on my own. I love Matt and his work and I think he's great at what he does, but when I'm working with him, I defer to him by default. It's my own insecurities that lead me down that road, so working on my own was empowering and refreshing. I made a million mistakes and I had some help along the way but I'm proud that I did it. I'm especially proud that I eeked it out with a newborn and a toddler in the background.

So while I keep trying to create and try new things, I keep running into the same problem. My crazy, wonderful, ambitious ideas/projects/dreams VS the reality of my life. We're super fortunate that art runs through our business and it is what we like to do, but, it's both becoming increasingly easy and at the exact same time difficult to accomplish. Kinda like parenting a toddler. In the same moment it's absolute shit and heart melting adorableness. I want to make a film, but I'm not sure that it fits in with my other commitments.

But, when I see other women, like Margaret, doing her thang and making people think about the world around them, I'm inspired. I should just friggen do it! Strike a balance between art and making our lives not so crazy. It's possible! Ok, I've got the gumption - now I need to find the money. Oh the life of an artist!


18/07/2014

whore


Called a whore for posting a breastfeeding photo on instagram the same day a young highschool boy liked all of my breastfeeding photos. It's sad (and creepy that this is sexual for that boy) that they both actually trolled breastfeeding tagged photos. Obviously he was looking for a quick wank and she wanted to target me and possibly others - calling me a whore for feeding my child. It was jarring and hurtful and stupid but not suprising. The comments are still going strong, but I've blocked her. She seems to be some young girl (extra sad points) who uses a lot of broken english. If you follow me on instagram, you'll know what I'm talking about. She's just proving my point.What she didn't know is this is why I post these photos.

I got on my soap box on my facebook page the day it happened to rant about the need to normalize breastfeeding. I love all of my friends who stood up for me and sent me their support. It means a lot. Before I came across her hateful comment, I was having a beautiful day with my family. I love this picture. It's always going to remind me of this summer and this precious, limited time with my Elsa Mae. Now I love it even more because it stands for something. It's more than just an instagram photo. Even in all it's pixelated glory, it's pretty freaking awesome. 

I am proud of my boobies and their abilities to feed my baby and I'm gonna whip 'em out whenever miss Elsa wants 'em. If you have a problem with it, you need to look inside yourself and sort that out. It really has nothing to do with me.

16/07/2014

thanks for listening



Feeling overwhelmed lately. Our lives exploded with the opportunities that came along with the van and then work and travel for Love and Anchor. We were even looking at buying a house for a minute. Rowan is a handful and life with two under two can be very stressful. We are also dealing with a possibility that Matt might not be able to go to school for financial reasons. So things sort of crashed into us like a huge wave.

I'm taking time to breathe and shake it off. I'll admit, it's really hard to let it go. It's oh so hippy of me but I've been looking into crystals and their healing properties. I don't think I'll give up on blogging. It's a pretty important space for me. I often need to just get things out. It's just one more thing on my to do list which was making me freak out a little. I think the summer is a natural lull for blogging which makes me feel less guilty.

I once read that because virgos are perfectionists that they get overwhelmed in certain situations that feel too big and just can't function at all. Seems to suit me. I can tackle life pretty well but when it gets piled on all at once I can stall out.

I'm really enjoying watching watermelon juice run down Rowan's face or sitting in the shade feeding Elsa in the backyard on a sunny day. My parents just bought a cottage and I took Rowan in for a quick swim. It was so neat to experience how excited he was to be there swimming.

I just need to refocus and recentre myself and remember what's important. I need to continue to be present and nurturing for my family. I still want to share that here, just trying to figure out the best way.

Thanks for listening

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